Spank It
Yo;
Another winner yesterday on Joelle’s show with “Don’t Say Hello, Say “I Listen to JACK”!!”. We're guaranteed to give away $10,000 altogether by March 1st – if it’s not already on your answering machine and you’re not answering your phone with it, get on it – lest you blow a grand when we call you up.
Get ready to tussle, we got a good “hot button” issue for y’all today…
Should parents be allowed to spank their own children?
That’s the question the government in the state of California is debating this week where one legislator is looking to ban the spanking of any child under the age of 3. If it actually becomes law, then California would be the first state in the U.S. to pass such legislation. For the record, 10 countries in Europe have legally banned spanking, while here in Canada it is still allowed (despite numerous court challenges over the years).
Your question today, regardless of whether or not you yourself are a parent: should spanking be allowed or should all forms of corporal punishment be banned? Should there be a minimum age? And should anyone else be allowed to spank your child if they feel it is warranted (ie: a teacher or school principal)?
Give it some thought and then throw down your thoughts. Have a great day and thanks for swinging thru.
Cheers,
A.J. & Crash
31 other comments:
Wow boys! You may have opened up a giant can of worms today. I will tread carefully with this one. I will admit that 'yes', I have spanked my kids and regretted it afterwards. To understand where all of this comes from means that you have to understand the background too. I was born in the 1950's and grew up in a very strict household. If I didnt' eat everything on my plate at dinner time, or if I pouted, or if I said 'no' to either parent or if I didn't do exactly what was expected and temporarily 'lost my manners', my dad would remove his leather belt and I would get several whacks across the ass. As a teenager, when I started going out with 'guys with cars who smoked dope', I said the 'f' word to my dad and ended up with a hand shaped bruise across my face that my make up couldn't cover. These days, my dad just gives me a lecture and 'shuns' me if I do something he doesn't agree with, ie: the tattoo on my arm, allowing my daughter to move out of the house; allowing my daughter to spend a weekend with her boyfriend (she's nearly 30 years old), etc., etc., etc.
For my own children, there have been times when their behaviour got totally out of control (spitting in my face, throwing things in the house). Although they could try the patience of a blessed saint when they were younger, there were times when they would get so out of control that there was no way anyone could talk to them or anyway they would listen. i didn't spank them much at all but I also couldnt' reason with them. They would spend a lot of 'time out' sitting in their bedrooms thinking about what they'd done. Heaven forbid if anyone we knew ever laid a hand on my kids. My parents looked after my youngest for a weekend when he was small and not completely toilet trained. He had an accident and my dad had a fit - there was some spanking and abuse that went on that weekend. My dad was furious with my youngest kid and after he had an accident, my dad packed up and headed to the ferry leaving all of my kids alone in the house. The two older ones were teens at the time but the gist of it all was nasty and I had several choice words for my dad and he got his own 'shunning'.
sorry to be so long winded but this subject can be rather touchy and I'm sure there'll be lots of feedback on this one.
gotta go to work now - yuk! Have a great day!
I believe this is an major issue to discuss! Kids, nowadays, have too many hotlines to use and abuse just because they DO NOT want to be punished for their acts! I hope to be a parent one day and I truly believe that my future rights as a parent are being taken from me. I grew up with the occasional wack and it was always well deserved. As you guys were talking this morning, it only happened when it was necessary. Obviously, it can get out of hand but any parent with a head on their shoulders should know when to draw the line and be sensible!!! Society has too many judgements on how things should be taken care of...for those who don't want to spank their kids, that it fine...but DO NOT judge those who choose too. Mind your own business!!
So how will this play out? Kids calling the cops and taking their parents to court? Hmmmm... Mom and Dad wouldn't buy me the new Barbie I wanted so I'll teach them a lesson!!!
I think spanking on occasion is okay when kids have acted extremely bad. Having said that, there's a fine line between discipline and abuse.
Spanking sure beats getting beaten with a wooden spoon like I used to get - thanks Mom and Stepdad! Yup, the multi-functional wooden spoon - stirring a pot of spaghetti or whooping your kids ass! I don't recall much about my childhood but I sure haven't forgotten those wooden spoon sessions. Years of caring and nuturing from parents can be easily forgotten after receiving a 30 second beating.
Spanking... AJ you little minx... meee-ow.
Seriously, this is a real issue. I'm not a parent so can't bring that experience... but I am an adult who was a kid that was threatened with the spanking. I got one or two in my day... and my brother got a few more. They were in extreme situations and when we were a bit older (eg 6 or 7 - not when we were 2). They were done on the rare occasion, but enough of a scare to know to get our acts in line as we didn't want another.
Personally I think the threat is going to much the other way - children are the ones in control now. A time out does not teach a child wrong from right (at least the ways I have seen it done). That said - neither does getting an a$$ whooping. To me a spanking gets the attention and connects the dots of doing something wrong can have a consiquence. Spending a time out in your room (full of toys, computers, tv, etc) is not a consiquence.
I guess the real sad part is that there is enough abuse and violence and that many kids have suffered much more than a spanking. I think those are the issues to deal with.
Cheers!
A
Should Parents be allowed to discipline their children?
-Yes. Absolutely. I grew up being spanked when I absolutely deserved it. My parents NEVER abused me, and when I got spanked, I KNEW I deserved it. My mother hated to do it, so my dad did it... but I knew that he hated it, too. Now and then, he'd threaten with his belt, but he NEVER used it.
I look around at the kids today, and it's obvious which kids' parents believe in discipline (discipline is NOT abuse, and abuse is NOT discipline), and which kids' parents don't- and it makes me sad. I'm 25. The kids of my generation were the transition kids... some parents believed in spanking, and some didn't... the parents that didn't had kids in my class that knew they could push the envelope, knew they'd never get punished.. and it's only gone downhill.
Should there be an age restriction?
- I think it's fair to implement an age restriction, and I think 3 is a good age... why? Because I don't believe that children under three can comprehend what they've done wrong, and why they're being spanked. There are other ways to discipline such young children.
Should other people be allowed to spank my (hypothetical) children?
- Absolutely not. I believe there are other ways to punish and discipline children, available to those other than the child's parents. There's washing the mouth out with (non-toxic) soap, there's time-outs (which when done properly DO work), there's removal of a privelige, etc. I've worked in a classroom on and off for years, and I've never had problems disciplining those kids that feel the need to cause trouble. Spanking is something that should be left to parents.
As the Father of 3 Girls, and now that they are grown, I asked them if they thought that a swat on the ass when they were youger, constituted abuse, and if it scarred them for life. Their answer astounded me. Al 3 were in agreement that they not only deserved it, but gained more respect for the disipline that it promoted. You see, spanking is not the issue....it is the level of the spank, and the rationality for the spank that I have a problem with. A good single swat on the rump was more than enough to straighten out any misconceptions that my young children had, and to see that Dad's/ Mom's way was the right way. More important than the swat, was an explanation for the swat after. Shows that there is still respect, and Love there, and they tend to have your attention afterwards. We have made mistakes with my Girls, but I guarentee you, we did our share of apologies, and repentants for it. Those that feel that disipline in the stores, shopping centres, and public places should really mind their own business, unless there is real physical contact going on. I have seen bad dicipline of a child in a store, and I have seen good, but never have I seen a level that constitutes abuse. You, and I are entitled to our opinions, and should never be critisized for it, and that includes the local by-law freaks that plan on "banning" spanking? I guess that must inclue that Kinky Sex parlours as well? Baseball players give a swat on the buttocks for good plays?.....Let's get back to the basics of raising children folks.....let the Parents decide what is best fro thier kids, but let's prosecute those that exceed thier Parental Responsabilities.
Okay,
Is the government going to pull up there socks and crack down on all these kids that are out of control? Because I can guarntee that if I stop spanking my children, they are going to be then next ones at the skate park in esquimalt with a fake gun.... Since I am not allowed to disapline them I guess once again it will be left to the tax payers.
I don't have kids myself...but as a couple other of your bloggers, I also was spanked as a kid. I can probably count on 1 hand the times it happened, and I have never thought of it as abuse. Important to say though is that my Dad NEVER hit in anger (my Mom couldn't spank us:) I think that is one distinction to think about and it was always a last resort. I think the worst part of that discipline for me was the anticipation and the reasoning afterward, my Dad would talk to us afterward and reason with us about why we had gotten a spanking and what we would do differently to avoid this in the future...very logical...a kid has got to hate that:) But to this day I respect my parents for how they disiplined us kids, we grew up knowing right and wrong and respecting authority which is lacking in so many these days
Those are some interesting answers to that question. I’m in full agreement on one issue: If someone lays a hand on one of my 4 kids, trying to discipline them, they had better be able to run a lot faster than me. On the other hand, I wonder why some feel it’s OK to keep the physical “discipline” in-house. I have never felt that because I am their father I somehow have a right to hit them when the frustration and demands of the modern parent become too much. There is always an option to spanking a child, using the belt, or the wooden spoon. Hey, I saw them all when I was growing up and wish my parents (father) had spent more time talking to me about what was wrong vs. taking the short road and whacking me. If you’re like me and have several kids ranging in age from 6-15, how are you going to discipline them when they might hit their siblings…. or hit other people because they are frustrated? Are you going to spank them and then tell them it’s wrong to hit? Why do some think it’s OK to beat a kid on the ass, but it would be wrong to hit them in, say the stomach? That doesn’t work, doesn’t get their attention? What next? I guess some feel that if you’re a parent, and you’re bigger than your kids, they don’t have much choice but to take it. Try and find a better way…one that you won’t regret in the end.
D
First, to the poster at 9:30, my parents NEVER hit in frustration. They never hit in anger. If I did something horribly bad, they would sit down in front of me and look me in the eye. They'd say "we're going to spank you, and this is why". They'd spank me, usually just one or two, one on each cheek, if I was really bad, and NEVER to the full strength that my dad was capable of, and then we'd talk about it after. He'd hold me while I cried, he'd tell me again what I'd done wrong (even though I always already knew), and then there would be positive reinforcement. He'd treat me by letting me help him paint, or something.
Spanking a kid isn't meant to leave bruises. It's NOT beating them. It's taking your hand to their butt, as a correction...not abuse.
Secondly, my parents only ever hit my butt. They NEVER believed in hitting about the head or body, where damage could be done. The butt has extra fat on it, to cushion the blow. And again,they didn't spank hard... just enough that I would pause before doing something that would be so bad.
My brother used to hit me all the time. He was a wild child, and he didn't know his strength (he's frighteningly strong). My parents NEVER hit him to correct him for hitting me. Usually they didn't know anyway, as I didn't tattle much... but when they DID discipline him for hitting, they would explain the difference between a swat on the bum, and a punch in the arm, and then they'd sit him in the middle of his bedroom, on his hands, with the door open. He wasn't to touch anything. It drove him nuts, and it WAS punishment.
The difference, to the poster at 9:30, is that a swat on the bum, not at full force, but as a reminder, as a call to order, is NOT a slap in the face, is NOT going to bruise, is NOT going to cause lasting damage.. whereas a punch in the stomach could...
As a parent of 3 children, 12,9 and 7mos I have never spanked. Using consequences and redirection is a much better form of disipline. My children are well behaved and do well in shcool and are not violent. I have never used spanking to cotrol them. We as adults don't spank or use violense to punish we use consequences why should it be different with children (maybe cause they can't hit back)
Anonymous @ 10:12
I agree that consequences and redirection work for many people, and that they are a good thing to try. That being said, sometimes it don't work. I'm a bloody stubborn person, and while I was generally a good kid, I was a bloody stubborn one. I never felt a spanking was unwarranted, and I never felt that it was abuse...
And as an adult, I have to say that now and again I come across someone that I think needs a good sock in the jaw. I don't hit that person, because my right hook has been used in self defence and BROKEN a jaw... but the thought's crossed my mind.
Wow good topic:
First of all if ANYONE ever lays a hand on my kids they really better hope I don't catch them. Not my husband; me; and he will agree that I am the one who will be the lioness defending her cubs.
To understand my view on spanking you first need to know that I grew up in a house where my mother screamed insults and my step-dad was the physical punisher - my school called child services once on him as I had come to school with hand shaped bruises and I got beat for it, I was 12. At 17 I almost lost my job because I had what at first glance looked like a hickie encircling my throat but if you looked closer it was actually a mark from my dad throttling me while I had a necklace made of shells on. These are just 2 incidents and there were quite a few more, I have a scar on my eye from his method to get me to sit down in the car at about 6 years old. My step-dad could inflict some really good physical pain.
My mom was the one who inflicted the longer lasting pain though - verbal insults are something that really take a long long time to heal.
Now more often then not I did deserve punishment but I did not deserve the extent to which I was punished.
And the punishment was extremely effective. I avoided a lot of stuff strictly because I was way more scared of my folks than I was of anything else - I would have happily gone to jail to avoid my parents being called - as I begged when a friend of mine got busted shoplifting and I didn'y know she was doing it, even the store security knew I did nothing but cuz they had detained me they had to call and they did tell my parents I had done nothing but...I got punished, beat and grounded. (the other girl by the way got a car from her folks)
I have since resolved many of the obvious issues that resulted from my parents form of discipline and my parents and I are fine now but there was a long time I needed to "deal". Also my parents have told me that they crossed the line and have apologized, and are glad to see that I have worked hard not to make the smae mistakes. But I will say it was the verbal discipline that took the longest to heal and I still have some lingering self esteem issues.
Okay now that you have the history -
I do everything I can to avoid spanking my children (well my son as daughters only 18 months), I also work very hard to control my "words" when I end up yelling, sometimes I have to send myself to my room to avoid doing or saying something I will regret. (my son is sooo much like me with his stubborness and intelligence it is spooky - stubborn is hard to deal with but stubborn and smart is REALLY tough to deal with and looks like daughter will be the same Someone said something about saints and patience)
But there are times when a swat on the butt is the only way you are going to get through, after you have tried the asking, the talking, the yelling, the time out, the praying for a tranquilizer dart gun (which I firmly feel would make bedtime sooo much less stressfull), and yes the begging and bribing.
But mostly I feel it should be my choice how I discipline my children. If I cross the line - dear god please someone stop me. But the reality is that some kids need more discipline and yes guidance than others; I was one. But, If you go back even 15 years there was less youth crime than now, go back further and the numbers just keep getting smaller. In taking away a parents ability to choose effective discipline (within reason), you are also taking away the kids ability to learn before juvenile court that actions have consequences and usually bad = bad. You also put way too much power in the hands of an age group that really is more focussed on the now then on the later.
Wow this got long, sorry.
I should probably also mention that I have a sister and brother who are 8 and 9 years younger and they did not get the physical discipline that I did. I had a habit of "getting in the middle" if one of them was in trouble so I would then end up getting the punishment. But this is normal for most older siblings to do and my parents have said that in hindsight they now know I was doing this. So when I say I brought some of it on myself I mean it, literally. But thankfully my sis (has 2 kids)and bro ( no kids) do not have the same anger struggles I face. They also don't have the memories I do and for that I am grateful and I would not give up the bad memories if it meant that they had to have some of them.
Interesting how many people threaten violence against anyone who might dare touch there kids...food for thought??
I grew up in a family of 12, I was the 3rd youngest. I went to Catholic school which strongly believed in corporal punishment. As a child I was spanked and in school I did receive the strap. On these occasion it was well deserved I took the strap as punishment at school in order for my parents not be informed about my behavior. As the 3rd youngest we very rarely were spanked, I would say we were somewhat spoilt, but I had respect for authority and my elders, which has been lost in today youth.
Spanking a child under the age of 3 doesn’t work to discipline them. They are still learning what we consider right and wrong even at the age of 5 they still do not comprehend fully consequences of their actions and quite often will forget the reason they had been disciplined. Only by repetition and reinforcement of consequences will the child learn.
As for another person being able to spank my child, unless I had first given permission for them to do so, there would be no place on this earth they could hide from me. They would soon deal with the consequences of their actions.
Please don't anyone feel sorry for me for my childhood - a lot of other people went through a lot worse. I survived and I'm okay and pretty much unless you have a gun you will have a hard time intimidating me into doing something against my will. Although I plan to find a better way to instill that last bit in my kids.
But to anon at 12:50 I think that physical discipline should only be up to the parent of the child as they KNOW their child, so the parent would be able to judge better if it is warranted or not. But I would not flip out if my child was assaulting another and someone smacked him to stop it. I'm talking about a situation like "hey johnny I said sit down....whack!!"
Also I have never spanked my son out of anger or frustration - more of "well nothing else has gotten through maybe a swat on the butt will" and most importantly we ALWAYS make sure he understand the "WHY" behind the punishment. Can anyone else remember sitting in your room tears running down your face and desperately trying to figure out WHY you were in trouble, cuz realistically most kids do not know why they are being punished they just know they don't like it and that it sucks and that mom and dad are mean (selective memories or just not able to put it together - especially the younger ones, or they are getting in trouble for something they did a week ago).
But this is a topic that bring out the best and the worst in people, especially when you have people that have been hit, and people that haven't, and people that don't have a clue, and people that know all too well how hard it can be to raise kids, and people who don't have kids.
No matter what though it should still be up to the parent HOW they discipline or raise their children - within reason - and a child begging for their life is way past reason. But a parent begging for theirs is a definite sign that a little discipline may have been needed sooner. And some kids need to be disciplined with a stronger touch than others plain and simple.
I personally do not want to raise a child who grows up with no idea of right and wrong and actions and consequences-real consequences cuz jail is a far cry from time out in a bedroom loaded with toys. ( note: not saying time out is bad just saying better than jail).
Man I rambled on again, sorry but this is a really good topic.
Mommy-brain: I can relate. My stepmom (I call her mom though as she married my dad when I was 2) was what your mom and stepdad were together. She would insult me and then beat me as well. She used to pull my hair and leave bruises on my legs, knowing that bruises on my face would get people concerned. She forgot about PE and that I'd wear shorts all year long. My teacher saw the bruises and I blamed my older brother and how he was practicing WWF moves on me. Mom would threaten to tell my dad that I misbehaved and I knew if she could inflict that kind of pain, he'd do worse. He only raised his voice to me once, and never his hand. For this, I am thankful. I was a snot growing up - I admit it - but never bad enough to deserve what I received. After all that, I am glad that I am a well adjusted adult (well ... kinda ... lol) and don't have anger issues.
Obviously because of this, I hate the idea of violence to discipline childern but realize that sometimes, it is necessary. I've seen my older brother smack my 2 year old nephew's hand as he reached for a hot element on the oven. That's not abuse, but an immediate and stern way to show the little guy that that was bad, very bad.
Now that I am pregnant, this is defintely a topic that I have pondered ... how will I discipline my child if s/he becomes a little snot like his/her mom was?
I should probably issue a warning to parents who cross the line with physical punishment.
The beating I got when I was 17 (then one where I almost lost my job) was the result of being late for curfew. I had driven a friend home who was plastered so I was late. Noone said a thing until I was on my way out the next day - never did ask why I was late - so I got pissed and my mom and I ended up screaming at each other and then my dad got involved and the beating ensued...with one major twist from previous ones - I hit back this time. Now I was approx 110 lbs 5 foot 4in and my stepdad is 5 foot 10 in approx 250. After throttling me, he chucked me across my room and I responded by throwing a gumball machine at him (not a plastic one and probably not the best idea I have ever had) and he came at me again so I kicked him in the head, and proceeded to fight for my life. I don't know exactly what caused him to stop but all of a sudden he was just gone. And I called my boyfriend and packed and moved out; as I was leaving he tried to apologize for going way too far but I told him to rot and if he ever laid a hand on my brother and sister I would kill him.
A few years back he told me he left the room because the reality of what he was doing hit and my mother screaming at him to stop finally cut through to him and he was extremely ashamed that he had put me in a position where I was fighting for my life - against him. The man who is supposed to protect me.
As I have said before we are good now and we have managed to get to a place where he has said that he's glad to know I can hold my own.
But my point is if you go too far in physically punishing your kids - be prepared for them to hit you back one day and for them it may very well feel like life and death so they may not be able to stop.
Also to parents who verbally abuse your kids - those wounds heal the slowest as does the wound from a parent who stays with someone who hits their kid - it leaves the kid feeling very much less than important.
But again I stress my parents and I are good now. We have moved past it and I have been apologized to by both of them. But some are not so lucky.
So for FFAW I propose a happy topic like...what kinda music can allways cheer you up, a certain song, certain band, certain style....
Crap longwinded again...definately need a fluffy topic for tom.
oh j-rok and mommy-brain - can I ever relate to you. It's taken me many years to deal with my younger years and I'm 50 years old now. My dad would hit me out of anger (he also used to drink a lot too) - I never knew when I was going to 'get it' though. Many times, I had no idea what I'd done wrong. I can get along with my parents now - but there's still that niggly little part of my brain that is always careful about what I say and do. It's silly but I can't help it. My dad had a stroke a few years ago and part of his memory was messed up and he's really into corporal punishment these days and is always telling me I should be hitting my boys (they're nearly 16 and nearly 26 and bigger and taller than me). He is always telling is friends what a 'little shit' I was when I was growing up. When I think back to those years, I never spoke unless someone spoke to me, I always had manners, always did as I was told but occasionally wouldn't eat everything on my plate at mealtimes (I really didnt' like turnips and liver and couldn't even choke one bite down). These were the times that I'd have to sit at the table after everyone left until I emptied my plate. If I didn't empty my plate, I got the leather belt on my ass and was sent to bed early. My dad kept this up til I was in my teens. There were usually insults thrown in like 'I would never amount to anything' etc. Then I found out about boys, cars and drugs - it was an outlet to get over the abuse at home. I tried to run away one time (I was going out with a major dealer in Surrey at the time) and was picked up at his house by undercover narcotics officers who took me to the police station and interrogated me for several hours before letting my parents take me home. My dad was livid. The next morning I woke up to this strange lady in my bedroom - turned out she was the public health nurse coming to visit with me to find out if I was taking drugs and if I was pregnant, etc. I was really peed off with my dad then - which was when I told him to 'f' off and out of extreme anger, he hit me across the face leaving a bruised imprint of his hand. These are things I can never forget and unfortunately, I can never forgive him for any of these. I can deal with it in my own way but the hurt is there and it has lasted a lifetime. I'm really glad I met my hubby when I did - he was my 'lifesaver' who saved me - we will have been married for 30 years this June and he's still great.
Don't feel sorry for me - I've dealt with all of this and I have a good life these days and 3 wonderful children. Although the youngest could try the patience of a saint - I wouldn't want to live without him. He's so talented and not afraid to try anything and is so awesome with his music.He's everything I wish I could have been. In fact, I dont' think I have anything to worry about with him - he's always at home with all of his friends here hanging out in the studio recording songs - so I always know where the kids are - I just can't afford to feed all of these teenage boys who inhale food.
I need to clear something up - my parents were not monsters - I wasn't beaten daily it's just that when I was it usually went too far, I'm sure I did get a "normal" spanking more often than things got out of hand. And most incidents with my dad started with an argument with my mom - go figure. (most men will do anything to stop a woman screaming in anger ha ha ahem)
But one thing was for certain I KNEW MY DAD/stepdad LOVED ME! (he adopted me when I was little and I call him stepdad when I talk about the bad stuff and dad the rest of the time but it's always dad when I talk to him I don't know why I do it I always have)
For example I was the victim of a "flasher" when I was 13 or 14 and the guy got me twice the second time I was with a friend and I called my dad from her house and he came and picked me up and on the way home I spotted the guy - my dad cut across all 4 lanes of the King George at 132nd in Newton against the light and darn near ran the guy over and then jumped out of our van and chased him up the middle of the King George Hwy - to this day I know he would have killed him if he had cought him. The flasher led a merry chase across the hwy and into a residential area and through peoples yards threatening to kill my dad (who yelled stop and try) until he ran straight into the open arms of a retired police officer who had current officers visiting for a BBQ. (oops)
See this is why I relish and savor the dull times while I have them.
Have a good dinner all - I'm on my way to the bank to deposit my JACK money as my ride is here.
okay now I DID NOT INTEND TO POST THE SAME COMMENT WHAT IS THAT 5 TIMES - but I can't figure out how to delete the extras since I switched to the beta version of blogger so if you know how please tell me. thank you
I also didn't say that my parents were monsters - my mom just had some anger issues. I still tread lightly with her but I know they both love me. They went above and beyond with my wedding plans. I sneak in a few cuddles with my dad and he giggles and asks if that will ever stop. My answer - "I'm your baby girl, aren't I?". I love them very much. You learn to put those memories in a vault. Have I forgiven? I doubt I ever will.
I respect my mom, too, more and more everyday actually. She took on raising some one else's three children as her own. True, she could have done a better job in the discipline department but we grew up to be good people, with great lives and morals. We didn't get messed up with drugs, crimes, kooky girl/boyfriends, etc. What more could I have asked for?
My point in all this is that there is a fine line between discipline and violence. It can be quite scary when that line is crossed.
MB;
Not sure why the multiple repeats on your post, may have something to do with you switching over to the new beta version. Anyhow, we went ahead and deleted the multiple postings for you.
Cheers,
The Boys
mommy-brain - I thought you were just being creative. At least you made everyone take notice. Like j-rok and mommy-brain, my parents weren't monsters - there were just a chosen few times that were not very nice and it's taken me a lot of years to deal with it.
gotta go and do some serious television watching - talk to ya'll tomorrow morning
Nothing wrong with the 'attention getting' smack on the butt! Don't go too far and you'll recover a lot faster than your child. I do agree with explaining why the punishment. I always told my boys to tell the truth. You may still get into trouble, but how much depends if you lie or not! Talking to children makes a big difference too! If want to get somebody's attention....whisper. Talking doesn't always work either.
As for somebody else spanking my kids..not a chance!
Funny story:
My Uncle told my cousin to have the garage cleaned up before he got home from work. Well, my little cousin (9 years old?) got busy cleaning the garage, but then got distracted and started playing with the stuff in the garage. Ooops, Dad's home now!! "David, why isn't this garage clean like I asked you?" David explained why. But he got a spanking anyway! Beleive me, it hurt my Uncle more than my cousin. What my Uncle didn't know, was that my cousin's pocket, was full of rocks!
thank you boys for deleting the extras - I know how I got the multiples...I think but I haven't figured out how to delete my posts since switching to beta on the blogger.com (maybe I should have thought of that sooner eh?)
so I get my JACK money today and the first thing I buy (after I paid my bud the last of the money I owed her for helping me fix my dead by christmas car).....a staple gun. I have a craft project that I need one for and the one I have that was given to us sucks so I got me a Mastercraft Sureshot Contractor (mmmmm tools), then I buy the latest Iris Johansen novel. Yep I know how to have fun. But by this time tomorrow I will be one more debt closer to debt free (yeah that leaves the student loan so debt free is still a ways away), now I just need my mommy to call me back so I can get her citizenship $$$ to her. Thank you again boys best wake up phone call I ever got.
Wow, finally something worth talking about. (lot's of posts, I haven't read them all yet)
Hell ya parents should be able to spank their kids, let's face it, it's not going to emotionally scar your kids or make them more prone to be violent (unless it's full out abuse) - my parents spanked my ass quite a few times, I remember I even broke our wooden spoon once. If you knew me you'd know I deserved it everytime and probably most of the times I didn't get caught.
As for punishing other people's kids? Hell yes! Some parents are too pussy new age hippie idiots (I wasn't sure if that should have hyphens or quotation marks around it) who figure Timmy just needs a little time out in his room with all his toys and crap. What the hell is up with that? If you're kid is acting up in public, and you're not doing a damn thing about it I should be allowed. It's not my kid, why the hell should I put up with it because you can't be bothered? Next time I'll give your kid something to cry about in Thriftys besides you didn't but them a chocolate bar.
I actually thanked my parents this summer for laying down the law and not letting me turn into some of the kids I used to go to school with (or that little SOB 2 doors down) who's parents really didn't give a shit what happened to, or who their kids turned into.
And no, I don't have kids. So proceed to tell me that I'm clueless and have no experience so I should just shut up. I'll just ignore you anyway.
dollabill - I think most of us agree that a child needs a spanking once in awhile, when they get totally out of control and there's nothing else left. Also, it needs to be explained to the child why and exactly what it is that they've done wrong. Unfortunately, when I used to get them, I hadn't done anything wrong most of the time - is it fair to give a child the leather belt on the ass just because they don't eat every bit of food on their plate?????
Like I think Mommy-brain said, no, it is not all right for you to spank my child. If any stranger dares to lay a hand on my child - they'd better be prepared to deal with a very angry mother (as the Sooke School Board found out last year when my child was beaten by an asshole at the frigging school he was at) who will go to all lengths to protect her child. Any discipline done to my children has always been done by me or their father - never a stranger.
When you have children of your own, you will understand the protectiveness that parents have towards their offspring. My kids are now ranging from 16 to 28 - they've all had spankings in their lives - and they've all grown up to be great kids that I wouldnt' trade in for anything.
I'm just saying that if a parent can't be bothered with the responisbility to discipline their kid, maybe someone else should. The rest of us shouldn't have to put up with your kid's behaviour just because you choose to.
I was never beaten or abused (and if I didn't eat my dinner it'd be waiting for me for breakfast), but my mom made damn sure at an early age that I knew how to act in public. I definitely knew that once mom said no or to be quiet etc, I'd better behave. It's all thanks to negative reinforcement that I'm the fine young man that I am today.
Having said that I couldn't care less how your kid acts in the privacy of your own home, and how you choose to discipline them there. If it doesn't affect me, then it's not my problem.
What's up with these young parents these days? Why aren't the little ones, around 2-4 years, not in bed by about 7:30 - 8:00 pm. Why are they out shopping with their parents at 9 - 10 pm? I just love it when I'm at a store at this time of night and the kids are crying and carrying on because they can't have their own way. Hello....THE KIDS ARE TIRED, THEY SHOULD BE HOME IN BED!!!!!! Like dollabill says, why should I have to put up with this?
I was at Thrifty's one time and these kids (4 of them, all under the age of 5)were absolutly freaking out because Mommy had to go get something else, she left the kids with Daddy, the kids were screaming, everybody was looking at them, and the Dad's response was, "No afternoon nap"! Why didn't Dad stay at home with the kids and mom go shopping? It was such a relief when these people left the building. I'm very fortunate, I could give my kids one look and they knew they better behave.
C.
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